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Spent the day yesterday at the hospital.

When I woke up in the morning I was faced with a paralyzing numbness in different parts of my body along with incredible fatigue and weakness. So I called the wagon. My blood pressure was up, despite my new meds, but came down to normal fairly soon after I got to the ER. They did a CT scan, an ekg and an assload of bloodwork. Surprisingly, or not, everything but the CT scan came back normal or normal enough anyway, and the scan showed "normal" healing process of an olde scarring from my stroke and subsequent hemorrhaging.



So my options at the time were to be admitted or to allow my family doc to do more testing on an outpatient basis. My brain was hangin in there, my heart was strong.. circulation seemed to be ok.. so what if I cant feel certain parts of my body? *shrugs*



I'm alive, which seems to be what matters. My thinking and reasoning and wow even spelling and typing and such seem to be intact. So I suppose, I'll wait it out and see if these new symptoms are just my body's way of adjusting to the beta blockers. Call me stubborn but there is no way in hell that I'm spending the holidays away from my children for these things. I'll deal with them as best I can until the holidays are over, then I'll go through whatever hellish nightmares they have planned for me.



Maybe I'm just losing my mind anyway hahaha...

COMMENTS

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vampfan2009
21:19 Jan 15 2009

you aren't losing your mind, I feel your frustration from here. Keep fighting.

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POST COMMENT

I received some devastating news yesterday. Seems the doc that I thought just breezed through my appointment the other day took some time to review my notes and medical history and has come up with a tentative diagnosis. He claims I likely have MS. I spent the remainder of the afternoon switching between denial and wallowing in self pity. I felt broken, useless, tired and dead inside.



This is not the first time this has been mentioned. When I suffered the stroke a few years back, this diagnosis was brought up as a possibility. Then as my health seemed to improve it was sort of shoved to the back burner and discounted. Now that things seem to be declining again, it has now reared it's ugly head once more.



After doing extensive reading about this illness last night, I've found there IS NO definitive testing for MS.. so I've decided to fight. If I deny having it then I just don't have it right?



Calling around for a second opinion today.. and a third and forth are in the cards.

...isn't so bad :P



From the bottom up :)





On 13:26:26 Dec 14 2007 lordlust wrote:



I Understand A Little Better Now Thank You And Well I Hope Whoever Forces Me To Join The House Or Coven If Anyone Wants To I Hope They Are like Family For I Need All The Help i Can Get To Get through This Disease And Thank You Once Again I Wish more Of You that Are In Charge We As Nice As You to Share And Help Withought Beings Dicks Thank You again ******BOWS******



On 13:22:40 Dec 14 2007 MiakodaWolf wrote:



Maybe just as an addition to the standard information listed on the FAQ's, I can give you what my take on Houses and Covens are.



My Coven is like my family..as I'm sure most Houses and Coven's are to most on VR. We are a community. We help to inform and entertain each other within the community as well as offer support and help as needed. We are close friends, and protectors.



There are competitions and games within the Houses and Covens as well as competitions against other Houses and Covens.



The only other thing I could think of would be to ask other individuals what their H or C means to them. :)



Hope this helps somewhat. The simplest thing I can say to explain it, is that it IS a part of VampireRave.. and to be a member on this site means that if you hit level 5, chances are you'll be participating in the Society system whether you want to or not.



On 13:14:14 Dec 14 2007 lordlust wrote:



ive read it but still it seems as though the house and covens are in vain i find no solid purpose for them but thank u



On 13:07:30 Dec 14 2007 MiakodaWolf wrote:



Go here. Everything you need to know about Houses and Covens is explained there.



WARNING! This message is from a Vampire Rave Acolyte. Acolyte's are regular Vampire Rave members who have agreed to assist newer Vampire Rave members. As such, the information they provide may not always be 100% accurate.



If an Acolyte treats you in what you feel to be an inappropriate manner, please report the situation to Cancer. Do not delete messages you have received from the Acolyte.



On Dec 14 2007 you submitted the following request for help:



Subject: House Coven



Question: I Need To Know WHat hey Are And What Is There Purpose

.. is hard.



There is so much I'm going through lately, and alot of the time I feel incredibly alone.

At the same time I know there is lots on your plate as well. Communication has been strained. Not anyone's fault really, but difficult to say the least.



The phone call this morning was a welcome surprise and a boost to my faith and patience.



Thank you.. with Love...

Ok so learned something important at the doc's today. I've developed blood pressure that is high enough to be frightening. 178/108 was the initial reading.. and 148/100 after I was subdued for a bit. Mhm.. time to medicate. That much I can't disagree about.



The doc himself on the other hand.. after listening intently to my tearful description of my laundry list of symptoms and ailments.. says to me..



"So you've been having migraines..."



Tosses 3 prescriptions at me..



"See you in 3 weeks"



I was in the waiting room longer than it took for the doctor to analyze my symptoms and "examine me" which consisted solely of rechecking my blood pressure and listening to my heart.



Granted.. my BP is obviously a priority.. and is likely the cause of my headaches. But for him to ignore my history.. (Never been to see this man in my life).. and not even give me a thorough exam after my detailed explanation of all my symptoms and issues as of late.. I felt was a tad remiss on his part.



*shrugs*



Soooo ...

Imitrex, propanolol, vicodin.. and we'll see.



In the meantime.. if I have any other attacks or feel uncomfortable for any reason.. I'm callin the wagon and I'll take the trip to the ER where I might actually get someone to listen.

I've decided to stop being stubborn and go to the doctor today. As much as I'd like them to, I know these health issues are not going to just go away on their own. At one point I thought that the stroke was the scariest thing I could ever go through in my life. Now with migraines and anxiety attacks coming more frequently and a constant dull throbbing headache in between tells me the scarier thing is the thought of having another one. Especially when maybe I can prevent that from happening somehow. I've felt a general ill feeling for a long time now ..and as much as I have denied it and ignored it.. it's persisting.. and time to do something about it.